When I'm an Old Lady  ---------------------    When I'm an Old Lady and live with my kids    I'll make their life happy and filled with such fun.  I want to pay back all the joy they've provided,  returning each deed. Oh, they'll be so excited.  When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.    I'll write on the wall with red, white, and blue;  and bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes.  I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.  I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout.    When they're on the phone and just out of reach,  I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.  Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,  and when that is done I'll hide under the bed.    When they cook dinner and call me to meals,  I'll not eat my green beans or salads congealed.  I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,  and when they get angry, run fast as I'm able.    I'll sit close to the TV, thru the channels I'll click.  I'll cross both my eyes to see if they stick.  I'll take off my socks and throw one away,  and play in the mud until the end of the day.    And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,  and thank God in prayer and then close my eyes;  and my kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,  "She's so sweet," they'll say, "when she is sleeping!"  Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at  the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.  Mark Twain (posted 10/30/00 -- submitted  by SHAMOONEY@aol.com )